A deserted public park. Early
morning. Two homeless middle-aged men. Enter the first man, RICHARD; he rubs
his unshaven face and looks around, stretches. The second man, CHARLES, enters.
They look at one another.
RICHARD: Hail, your Scruffiness.
CHARLES: Hail.
RICHARD: Did you sleep well?
CHARLES: My back’s a bit stiff.
RICHARD: So’s mine. [pause] And what brings you abroad this
morning, Chief Executive?
CHARLES: A matter of some urgency.
RICHARD: And what might that be?
CHARLES: It’s a top corporate secret, my
good man. Yes, an executive secret — for the time being, as Julius Caesar was
fond of saying.
RICHARD: May one have a tiny tidbit
of information pertaining to this matter?
CHARLES: All in good time, all in the
goodness of time, as Abraham Lincoln was fond of saying.
RICHARD: So he was, wasn’t he . . .
CHARLES: I have a letter from the
vice-president in charge of public relations.
RICHARD: May I see it?
CHARLES: I burned it.
RICHARD: What does he say?
CHARLES: He’s coming for our
high-level meeting.
RICHARD: How grand. When?
CHARLES: Soon I imagine.
RICHARD: You mean he didn’t say when
exactly?
CHARLES: Not exactly. You know the
VP. Likes to be vague. Doesn’t like definite commitments.
RICHARD: Right. Nothing too definite.
CHARLES: That’s his style.
RICHARD: Takes after his father.
CHARLES: In many ways, yes.
RICHARD: Where shall we dine today,
Chief?
CHARLES: I’ve been considering a new
venue for lunch.
RICHARD: Good, but what about
breakfast. I passed a few choice spots on the way to corporate headquarters
today.
CHARLES: Did you? Well, let’s not be
too hasty. Breakfast is an optional meal.
RICHARD: Yes, mon capitaine, for you it’s optonal. For me it’s de riguer.
CHARLES: ‘Tis a mere gluttonous
indulgence, in my view. But if you must glut yourself–
RICHARD: I must.
CHARLES: Then do it with my blessing
. . . and with gusto.
RICHARD: I intend to, whenever the
occasion presents itself.
CHARLES: Well then, I suppose we must
have a wee nosh to keep up our strength for today’s meeting.
RICHARD: That’s the spirit. I can’t
function without a good tuck in.
CHARLES: Please remind me again, what
is it you do?
RICHARD: Take notes, write letters,
manage your agenda . . .
CHARLES: Oh, yes, my agenda. I anticipate
a busy one today.
RICHARD: Will anyone be joining us?
CHARLES: Not for breakfast. But there
will most likely be a few petitioners, visiting executives, international
bankers, corporate dignitaries, sycophants, and the like at our mid-day repast.
I am expecting the vice president in charge of international marketing.
RICHARD: Do you think the VP will be
joining us then?
CHARLES: Could be. You never can tell
with the VP. You know his way. Rather imagines himself a head honcho. And he
will be – one day, in his own company. But he’s on his way to our meeting and
likely to pop up at any moment. But I’d like to let you in on something of the
greatest importance prior to that event.
RICHARD: And what might that be,
Chief?
CHARLES: It’s about the VP.
RICHARD: What about him?
CHARLES: Well, to be honest, and if I
can’t be honest with you, then who can I trust?
RICHARD: Exactly.
CHARLES: To be honest, I know he’s
not absolutely content to be the VP.
RICHARD: Not happy playing second
fiddle?
CHARLES: Not absolutely. Wants to be
numero uno. Is just waiting for his opportunity to oust me on my ass, as it
were.
RICHARD: Quite.
CHARLES: So something must be done to
checkmate him.
RICHARD: A little game, you mean? A
clever ruse?
CHARLES: And you’re just the man.
RICHARD: Yes, I am, aren’t I?
CHARLES: Indubitably.
RICHARD: What did you have in mind?
CHARLES: I was hoping you might
assist me in the process. After all, you are the creative type.
RICHARD: Indubitably. We could tell
him that the corporation is bankrupt.
CHARLES: He wouldn´t believe that. He
would ask to see the books.
RICHARD: We could cook the books.
CHARLES: We cooked the books last
week. We had nothing else to eat.
RICHARD: You´re right. I forgot about
that. Mmm, let me see. Let´s form a phony company and tell him he can be the
Chief Executive Officer.
CHARLES: That’s a splendid idea. What
sort of company?
RICHARD: How about an import-export
business. That way we could send him to someplace in South America and get him
out of the way for a while. In the meantime we will move our operation to
another city and when he comes back he won´t be able to find us.
CHARLES: That´s brilliant. I’m getting
tired of this dump anyway. It would be nice to go far away, someplace by the
ocean. Let´s run it by the board at today´s meeting.
RICHARD: But, as you said, the VP
might show up for this meeting.
CHARLES: Let´s tell him it´s been
rescheduled. So that it will give us more time to make the arrangements.
RICHARD: Excellent.
CHARLES: Okay. Put it into action immediately.
RICHARD: You would authorize that,
wouldn’t you?
CHARLES: What do you mean? It sounds
like a good idea to me.
RICHARD: You’d trick your own son.
You’d do anything to hold on to power. You’re ruthless and, may I add, morally
despicable.
CHARLES: How dare you speak to me
that way. You’ve been my closest confidant ever since we started this company.
And you profited quite nicely, haven´t you? You never complained about your
increase in salary and yearly bonuses.
RICHARD: Well, you’re right about that.
But ever since we´ve moved out into the open I had a change of heart. Maybe
it’s all the fresh air. Maybe it’s seeing people suffer. You might say I’ve
discovered I have a heart. I used to think the way you do, every man for
himself, greed is the way of the world, grab what you can, make as much money
as possble because money is power.
CHARLES: I can´t believe you’re
talking this way. I’m shocked that you’ve suddenly and unexpectedly become a
man of principles. Isn´t it a little late for that?
RICHARD: Better late than never, as
the Buddha said. When I woke up this morning I knew something in me had changed,
and I no longer look at the world the same way. And as for you, the world would
be better off with one less greedy coorporate executive.
CHARLES: Hah! Do you really think one
greedy corporate executive more or less would really matter?
RICHARD: Possibly. Should we find
out?
CHARLES: What are you getting at?
RICHARD: We could try it – get rid of
you and see what happens.
CHARLES: You can’t be serious.
RICHARD: Can’t I?
CHARLES: Now wait just one minute,
Richard. I’m still in charge here.
RICHARD: Like hell you are. You once
owned me, body and soul. But out here in the open I’m a free man. Poverty has
made me re-evaluate everything I used to hold sacred.
CHARLES: We have no time for
soul-searching. Got a lot on the agenda this AM. The company must come first,
as always.
RICHARD: Wake up, Charles. There is
no company. It’s all an illusion. The company went belly up three years ago.
You were tried for embezzlement and acquitted. We were both out of work for a
year. You lived on your savings. My savings ran out after a month. Then my wife
suported me while I looked for a decent job. Then my wife lost her job. I
painted houses for cash in the summer. Then I worked in the hotel casino, then
the casino kitchen. Then I was out of work for two years. Lived on
unemployment. Then my wife got fed up, threw me out and divorced me. That’s
when I came here.
CHARLES: And my wife?
RICHARD: Married someone else.
CHARLES: My son?
RICHARD: Suicide.
[CHARLES has taken a steak knife out of of
his pocket and holds it out in front of him as if about
to thrust it into his heart.]
CHARLES: Is this a dagger I see
before me?
RICHARD: [snatching away the knife] Now stop that, Charles. That won’t do.
Lying across the railroad tracks would work much better.
CHARLES: Railroad tracks? Haven’t
seen any around here, have you?
RICHARD: Nope. But there’s an Amtrak
line along the shore. The express runs once a day to DC.
CHARLES: That would be perfect. Do
you know the schedule?
RICHARD: Nope.
CHARLES: Well, I can’t see myself
going that way.
RICHARD: No, not that way.
[pause.
CHARLES: Things look really bleak,
don’t they? I’ve never been this bad off. Never. I’ve worked all my life, ever
since I was a boy.
RICHARD: Me too. My first job was
delivering newspapers.
CHARLES: I worked as a caddy at the
country club every summer.
RICHARD: Our lives have certainly
taken a dramatic turn, haven’t they?
CHARLES: They certainly have. [pause] What’ll we do?
RICHARD: Don’t know. [medium long pause] Something will turn up.
CHARLES: Yes, something’s bound to
turn up.
[long pause]
CHARLES: What time is the board
meeting today?
RICHARD: Eleven.
CHARLES: Did you make arrangements to
have lunch served in the board room?
RICHARD: Of course. Prime rib and
baked potatoes. Caesar salad. For wine, a choice of Zinfandel or Cabernet
Sauvignon. Apple pie and ice cream.
CHARLES: From Francesco’s?
RICHARD: Of course.
CHARLES: Only the best.
RICHARD: Nothing less will do.
CHARLES: Exactly.
[The
two men mime sitting down and enjoying a feast.
CHARLES: What a meal! Excellent prime
rib.
RICHARD: Very tender.
[long
pause.
CHARLES: Did you get a firm
commitment from our French distributor?
RICHARD: He’s ninety-five percent
there.
CHARLES: What will it take to close
the other five percent?
RICHARD: Not sure. We need to come up
with something to sweeten the deal.
CHARLES: I’m sure you’ll think of
something.
RICHARD: Indubitably.
CHARLES: You’re solid, Richard. I can
always count on you.
RICHARD: Everything always looks
better on a full stomach.
CHARLES: It certainly does.
The two men regard one another across the “table,” smiles of contentment
on their faces, as the lights come down to BLACKOUT.
Copyright 2012 by Anthony S. Maulucci
